Don’t smell crotches, don’t eat plants.
Don’t steal my food or underpants.
Don’t eat my socks, don’t grab my hair!
Don’t rip the stuffing from the chair.
Don’t eat the berries, or touch the bush,
Don’t chew my shoes, what is this mush?
Eat your cookies, drink your drink,
Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!
Away from the litter box, it’s for the cat.
And must you kiss me after that!?!
Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
Those rugrats are funny but also quite crazy.
Don’t despair through the toil and the strife,
Cause after three years, you’ll get back your life.
So let’s go for walkies, so you can do your “thing.”
And maybe I’ll get back my good diamond ring!